Summary: New students will be attending Sohoku. The bicycle club needs to think of ways to advertise their club to recruit new members.

If We Were In A Band

ONODA: “If We Were In A Band.”

ONODA/IMAIZUMI/NARUKO: Introduce our club?!
AOYAGI: Yeah. That event where each club explains what they do to newly inducted students.
TESHIMA: It’s a bit early, but since we have free time during off-season, we should think about what our options are.
AOYAGI: That way, we’ll also have more time to prepare.
TESHIMA: So with that said, do you guys have any ideas?
IMAIZUMI: Ideas… We’re a road racing club, so aren’t we just going to explain road bikes?
TESHIMA: We’ll be doing that, of course. But dealing with only bikes and road races…
ONODA: Is that bad?
AOYAGI: It’s not. But we want to get the interest of more people. The more members we get, the more resources we’ll have.
IMAIZUMI: You want to assemble as many talented people as possible, is that it? …Well, I understand that, but…
TESHIMA: Don’t look so grim, Imaizumi. Don’t worry, we’ll mainly be explaining road racing. We’ll be proper about that, naturally. But it would be nice if we had something catchy to grab their attention initially.
ONODA: C–Catchy?
NARUKO: Grab their attention… Catchy… In other words, do something funny and stand out, right? Ah! There’s only one answer to that! Manzai! A skit! Comedy!!
ONODA: A skit?
AOYAGI: Comedy…
TESHIMA: Hmm, I see. Like this?

🚲 🚲 🚲 🚲

ALL: Helloooooo!
TESHIMA: We keep saying biking biking, so up next is us, Sohoku High School’s road racing club!
ONODA: T–Today, we’d like t–t–t–to… um… introduce our road racing club with a comedy skit!
NARUKO: Haaah, what?! I’m tough on humor! Half-assed amateurs like ya won’t make me laugh! If ya wanna make me laugh, ya better bring over a professional or two!
TESHIMA: No, no, no, we don’t have enough funds for that!
IMAIZUMI: This is the real bike operation.
NARUKO: What’d ya say?!
AOYAGI: So unprepared.

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ONODA: Nope.
TESHIMA: Any other ideas?
ONODA: Um… Catchy… Catchy… Ah! I know! How about this–
IMAIZUMI/NARUKO: No cosplaying!!!
ONODA: Eh… Right…

[TESHIMA sighs with relief]

AOYAGI: Junta.
TESHIMA: Huh? What’s up, Aoyagi? …Hm? I see… That’s…
NARUKO: Perm-senpai and Silent-senpai, don’t hold yer own conversation!
TESHIMA: O–Oh, sorry.
ONODA: A–Aoyagi-san, what is it?
AOYAGI: A band.
AOYAGI: Junta is good at karaoke, so the five of us can form a band and introduce our club with an opening performance.
NARUKO: That’s a really great idea! Being in a band is flashy, so we’ll definitely get their attention!
IMAIZUMI: Ah, Teshima-san, are you good at singing?
TESHIMA: Huh? Huh… Well, I can do a little J-pop…
AOYAGI: He sounds just like the singers. I guarantee it.
ONODA: T–That’s incredible, Teshima-san!
IMAIZUMI: But what should we do?
AOYAGI: Play instruments.
NARUKO: Whoaaa, that’s so cool!!! What’s the next flashiest thing besides vocals?! The guitar, right?!!
IMAIZUMI: You’re better off doing taiko drums.
NARUKO: What, who are ya callin’ a taiko drummer?!
ONODA: A–All I’ve ever played is the melodica in elementary school…
TESHIMA: Oh? Then how about you take the keyboard?
ONODA: K–K–K–Keyboard?!
NARUKO: If we’re gonna do this, then why don’t we go all out by wearing the same costumes? We could all wear happi coats!
IMAIZUMI: Wearing happi coats in a band is weird, at least make it a T-shirt.
NARUKO: Ooooooh, not a bad idea coming from Hotshot! Kaaah, I’m gettin’ fired up!
TESHIMA: All right, then let’s leave the T-shirt’s design and logo to Aoyagi–
TESHIMA: Hm? What is it, Onoda?
ONODA: Um… What should we name our band?
AOYAGI: Name our band?
NARUKO: [shoots his hand up in the air] I know, I know! Sohoku Riders!
IMAIZUMI: That sounds like a baseball team.
NARUKO: How about we take the “ro” (路) from “douro” (highway road), “u” (宇) from “uchuu” (space), and the “do” (怒) from “anger” to form “RO-A-D” (路宇怒)?!
TESHIMA: Is that supposed to connect to “road” in “road racing”?
NARUKO: Ka ka ka! Is it that obvious?!
AOYAGI: It’s lame.
NARUKO: Khh! Oh man… Silent-senpai’s singular words hit harder than anyone else because he rarely talks…
IMAIZUMI: Rookiez is Cycle’d.
ONODA: How about putting a star in between like Love☆Hime and use So☆ho☆ku in katakana?
TESHIMA: Hmm, none of those really tell me “This is it!”
AOYAGI: Then let’s go… with this.
NARUKO: Eh? Why did you stick out an open palm, Silent-senpai? Are you saying we should name our band “Paper”?
AOYAGI: No. Team of five.
ALL: !
TESHIMA: Ohh… I like that one.
IMAIZUMI: Put into English, it would be “Team Five.” Not bad.
ONODA: Then how about we make a hand the illustration of our band’s T-shirts?
AOYAGI: We’ll use that.
ONODA: T–Thank you!
TESHIMA: All right then, we’ll go with the strategy of exciting the crowd with our band before we introduce our club. Let’s simulate!

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[Music plays and a crowd cheers]

TESHIMA: That was our major debut single “Never Give Up.” Thank you for listening to the end. Now, let’s introduce our members.
ONODA: K–Keyboard, Onoda Sakamichi! [keyboard riff]
IMAIZUMI: Bass, Imaizumi Shunsuke. [base riff]
NARUKO: Drums, [drum riff] Shoukichi Narukooo!
AOYAGI: Guitar, Aoyagi Hajime. [guitar riff] The “Hajime” is “one” for “number one.”
TESHIMA: And vocals is me, Teshima Junta!
ALL: We are Team Five!

[Crowd cheers]

TESHIMA: Okay baby, I love ya. Now, to continue on, we’ll explain our road racing club!
AOYAGI: …! Junta!
TESHIMA: Hm? What’s wrong?
NARUKO: Oh no! We got so caught up in our band’s opening performance…
IMAIZUMI: That our time to introduce our main club activity…
ONODA: I–Is all gone!

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ONODA: Nope…
TESHIMA: …Ahem! Okay, let’s think of this another way.
AOYAGI: Junta?
TESHIMA: Without getting distracted, we will introduce our club the normal way. All in favor, raise your hands!
ONODA/IMAIZUMI/NARUKO/AOYAGI: [raise their arms] Aye! [AOYAGI nods]
TESHIMA: A unanimous agreement, huh? As I thought, working hard doing honest work is the best way to go.

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