Summary: Shinkai is fond of detective novels and lends Arakita the latest one he's read. He's not able to read in peace when Toudou, Izumida, and Manami join in to figure out the culprit.
The Appearance of The Great Detective!?
TADOKORO: Original concept by Watanabe Wataru.
ONODA: TV Anime “Yowamushi Pedal” Drama CD.
KINJOU: “Off the Road 2.”
[ARAKITA enters the clubroom]
ARAKITA: Yo… What, no one else is here yet?
SHINKAI: Hey there, Yasutomo. You’re early today.
ARAKITA: !? Tch, you were here, Shinkai?
SHINKAI: Well, that’s rude.
ARAKITA: If someone sitting by the windows and keeping quiet suddenly spoke to you, you’d be surprised too.
SHINKAI: Ahaha, sorry, sorry. I was absorbed with reading.
ARAKITA: Reading? Oh, another detective novel?
SHINKAI: Yep. I just finished it.
ARAKITA: I can’t believe you read the same kind of book over and over without getting tired of it. They all follow the same pattern, don’t they? There’s a murder, then the detective figures out the key to the murder, and in the end they go “You’re the murderer!” doesn’t it?
SHINKAI: That’s rather blunt. I think there are other aspects besides that which make detective novels so interesting.
ARAKITA: Hah? Other aspects? Like what?
SHINKAI: Well, let’s see… I guess the biggest pleasure of all is figuring out the murderer yourself as you read.
ARAKITA: Figuring out the murderer, huh…
SHINKAI: It feels like you’re putting yourself to the test against the trick that the author designed.
ARAKITA: Hmm… To the test, huh? Let me see that.
SHINKAI: Eh? Ah, this book? Uh, this one actually has a peculiar story so it won’t exactly fit what I just said, so…
ARAKITA: Quit blabbing and let me see it.
SHINKAI: Um… All right. Here.
ARAKITA: “The Great Detective Nodasaka Michio’s Great Case File Series No. 1 – The Case of the Tokyo Dracula Serial Murderer,” huh? Hmm…
SHINKAI: That book doesn’t really concern itself with deductions, so, um…
ARAKITA: [opens the book] Let’s see…
SHINKAI: It got its hype from an online review right after it was released, so, well, to explain, as a detective novel–
ARAKITA: No, Shinkai, you don’t need to explain. I got it.
SHINKAI: Eh? You got what?
ARAKITA: You’re done with reading this, right?
TOUDOU: That was quite entertaining, Izumida, Manami!
IZUMIDA: You shouldn’t have jumped out at that moment, Manami.
MANAMI: But it was Toudou-san who made me. That was a sly thing to do, making a sudden move there.
TOUDOU: Wahaha! Anyone would have done the same in that case! [opens the clubroom door] Oh, by the way, Manami. Since you lost, you bring the detergent from the equipment room as promised.
MANAMI: You were being serious?! That was such a one-sided promise, it shouldn’t be valid! …Oh, there’s Arakita-san.
IZUMIDA: Ah… Oh, that’s rare.
TOUDOU: Rare? Oh, if it isn’t Arakita! Hey, Arakita! …Huh? Are you ignoring me?
MANAMI: Toudou-san, you shouldn’t disturb him.
TOUDOU: Disturb him? …?!! That Arakita… is reading something other than manga?!
IZUMIDA: “The Case of the Tokyo Dracula Serial Murderer”… It’s the first time I’ve heard of it.
TOUDOU: So what. I bet he just saw Shinkai reading it and borrowed it out of interest.
MANAMI: If I remember correctly, that book was released just last week. I saw a display sign about it at the bookstore in front of the station on the day of its release.
TOUDOU: Oh, so it’s a well-received book, is it?
IZUMIDA: Display? When I stopped by that bookstore yesterday on my way back, I didn’t see that display sign nor this book.
TOUDOU: …Which is it?
[SHINKAI enters the room]
SHINKAI: You’re both correct.
TOUDOU: Yo, Shinkai. What do you mean, they’re both correct?
SHINKAI: That display sign was there for only one day. [sighs] Yasutomo is still reading it, huh?
ARAKITA: Huh? …Yeah.
SHINKAI: It’s not too late, why not switch to a different book? Look, I brought my favorite detective novels from my locker.
ARAKITA: I don’t need them. You didn’t have to do that.
IZUMIDA: What sort of story is it?
TOUDOU: Yeah, we should at least hear the summary.
MANAMI: Thinking back… The setting takes place in modern Tokyo. Serial murders occurred in the summer of that year. All of the victims appeared as if they had been attacked by the vampire Dracula. On their necks were fang marks, and all of the blood had been sucked out of them.
TOUDOU: Ooh… Quite the horror taste, for a mystery.
MANAMI: On the bookstore’s display sign, it was written “Will the famous detective assigned to the case unravel this tough mystery? Who is the murderer?”
IZUMIDA: Now that sounds interesting.
TOUDOU: Yeah. Now I understand why Arakita, who is far from being a reader, would be so absorbed.
ARAKITA: Tch, none of your business! I’m reading here, so stop bothering me!
TOUDOU: Hmm. Since you let Arakita borrow it, does that mean you’ve finished it, Shinkai?
SHINKAI: Yeah, of course.
TOUDOU: Then, Shinkai, can I ask you one question?
SHINKAI: Hm? What, Jinpachi?
TOUDOU: Who’s the murderer?
SHINKAI: Well, to tell you the truth–
ARAKITA: Toudou! Are you a fucking moron?! I’m in the middle of reading it right now! And you, Shinkai! Don’t answer his fucking question!
SHINKAI: Sorry, I wasn’t thinking.
TOUDOU: Oh, come on, it’s all good! Don’t be so hung up by details!
ARAKITA: It’s not good! The biggest pleasure of detective novels is figuring out who the murderer is alongside the protagonist!
IZUMIDA: Huh. I didn’t know Arakita-san possessed such deep knowledge about detective novels.
TOUDOU: I bet he’s just repeating what Shinkai said.
ARAKITA: Say that again?!
SHINKAI: Now, now, you two.
IZUMIDA: Then how about we all deduce who the murderer is together?
MANAMI: Deduce it together, huh?
TOUDOU: I see. That sounds entertaining.
SHINKAI: Um, I don’t think you should do that… As I keep saying, that story is a little different from the average book in the genre, so I don’t think you’ll end with the right deduction…
TOUDOU: Hoh hoh? Is that how difficult the case is?
SHINKAI: Well… Not exactly…
IZUMIDA: That excites me even more then!
ARAKITA: Why is the conversation ending up like this? Just be quiet, all of you. In fact, I’m reading here! Go away!
TOUDOU: In that case, we’ll have to start with breaking down the trick behind the murder.
ARAKITA: DON’T CONTINUE THE CONVERSATION!
IZUMIDA: It would be appropriate to conclude that the murderer used a syringe or something to extract all of the blood from their victims… Right, Arakita-san?
ARAKITA: Hah? …Yeah, I thought so t– I just said stop!
TOUDOU: There were fang marks left behind, weren’t there? So the murderer must have a special reason for making the murders appears as if they had been done by Dracula.
MANAMI: Ehh? No one in modern Japan would believe that the murders were done by Dracula.
IZUMIDA: Then why would the murderer feel the need to connect these serial murders to Dracula? Don’t you agree, Arakita-san?
ARAKITA: Right?! I thought that t– I said stop!
TOUDOU: So, Arakita! How many suspects are there?
ARAKITA: Three– Don’t make me say it! Ah, jeez, I’m not playing along with this, okay?! Shinkai, you be quiet, got that?!
SHINKAI: I never said anything from the start…
ARAKITA: Just don’t say anything!
SHINKAI: Alright, alright.
TOUDOU: Jeez, what a boring guy.
MANAMI: [searches on his phone] Let’s see, there are three suspects. One is a college student who is a huge horror movie fan. The second is an archaeologist in his 40s who is researching European history. The last is the last blood relative of a multi-millionaire family that was exiled from Transylvania in the fifteenth century.
ARAKITA: Manami, you little…!
MANAMI: It’s written on the publishing company’s website introducing the book, so what’s the harm? See?
ARAKITA: Don’t “see?” me! Don’t look at the website!
IZUMIDA: If the horror movie fan is the murderer, their motive could be that their crazy love of that movie genre ended with them resorting to cult murder.
TOUDOU: Hmm. But that could hold true if the archaeologist was the murderer, as well.
MANAMI: The last living relative of the multi-millionaire family could be avenging a past misdeed done to them.
IZUMIDA: But… all three of them give the possibility of being the murderer.
TOUDOU: Yeah. In this case, it wouldn’t be interesting unless the murderer is someone completely unexpected.
MANAMI: Ah, then how about this? The murderer is really the detective protagonist himself, and his real identity is that he’s Dracula! Or something of the like.
TOUDOU: …That’s rather hopelessly straightforward…
IZUMIDA: And the book ends saying that Dracula is real? Manami, you said yourself that couldn’t be possible.
ARAKITA: There’s no way that’s the ending. Not even elementary school kids these days would be happy with an ending like that.
MANAMI: Haha, yeah. Right, Shinkai-san?
SHINKAI: …Ah, well…
MANAMI: Hm? Shinkai-san?
SHINKAI: Um… well…
ARAKITA: Shinkai, what’s wrong?
SHINKAI: Well… uh…
MANAMI: Eh? …Ehh? Could it be…?
ARAKITA: Huh? Why are you freezing up too, Manami?
MANAMI: Ah, I just remembered that I need to get the detergent from the equipment room. I’ll be going now. [starts walking away]
TOUDOU: Huh? I don’t mind if you don’t get to that promise right away.
MANAMI: No, it has to be right now. See you.
[MANAMI walks out of the clubroom and runs away]
ARAKITA: What’s wrong with Manami all of a sudden?
TOUDOU: Hmm… Hehehe, I see. According to my calculations, he’s made a run for it.
IZUMIDA: Eh? Why would Manami need to run away? …Hm? …Ah! So, the murderer is as Manami said?!
ARAKITA: Huh? As Manami said…?
ARAKITA: AHH?! I–IS THAT TRUE, SHINKAI?!
SHINKAI: I kept saying you should switch to another book, didn’t I?
ARAKITA: That fucking little… MANAMIIII!
[ARAKITA enters the clubroom]
SHINKAI: Welcome back, Yasutomo.
ARAKITA: The only thing that fucking Manami is good at is running away.
SHINKAI: Haha. I see you didn’t get him then.
ARAKITA: Huh? Where are Toudou and Izumida?
SHINKAI: They deduced that if you didn’t catch Manami, your anger would direct itself at them.
ARAKITA: They ran off then, huh? …Right, by the way, Shinkai! You said you brought other novels to lend me, didn’t you? Would you let me borrow those?
ARAKITA: Well, uh… Sorry for saying before that they were all the same.
ARAKITA: That book I borrowed has that shit ending, but… well, trying to figure out the murderer while I was reading it… well, it wasn’t so bad.
SHINKAI: I see. Okay. That’s great.
ARAKITA: So, I wanna try reading a proper one to the end this time.
SHINKAI: Sure, of course you can borrow them, Yasutomo.
MANAMI: Izumida-san, thank you for helping me carry the detergent.
IZUMIDA: Abs! Don’t worry, I think of this as a part of my training routine.
TOUDOU: Hahaha! With this many hours passed, Arakita should have given up by now and gone home.
IZUMIDA: Toudou-san, aren’t you here to help Manami?
TOUDOU: Hm? What are you talking about? I’m simply accompanying Manami to keep him from being lonely! Why should I help him carry when I won the race?
[IZUMIDA opens the clubroom door]
IZUMIDA: Say the truth, Toudou-san. This is all an excuse to run from Arakita-san.
TOUDOU: Why would I run from Arakita?!
ALL THREE: Ah.
ARAKITA: …YOU JERKS!
[ALL THREE flee, screaming]
T/N: Guess who “Nodasaka Michio” is. Hint, move over a letter by one.